Domestic Violence and New Hampshire Family Court
How domestic violence concerns may influence custody decisions in New Hampshire.
Talking About Family Violence in Child Custody and Parenting Cases
1. Child Custody and Parenting Basics in Canada
In Canada, family courts focus on children’s safety and well-being. Different provinces and territories use different words, but the ideas are similar.
Key Terms You May See
- Parenting time: When a child is in the care of a parent (similar to “access” or “visitation”).
- Decision-making responsibility: Who makes major decisions about the child (health, education, religion, activities). Some laws still call this “custody.”
- Contact: Time between the child and another person, such as a grandparent or other family member.
Court orders can be different depending on the situation and the province or territory. An order might:
- Give one parent most or all decision-making responsibility, or share it in certain areas.
- Set a schedule for parenting time (or contact time) that can be detailed or flexible.
- Include conditions, such as supervised visits, safe exchange locations, or rules about communication.
Names, forms, and procedures for parenting and custody vary across provinces and territories. Local legal clinics, duty counsel, or family court information centres can explain how it works where you live, but they cannot guarantee outcomes.
2. How Family Violence Affects Custody and Parenting
Canadian family law generally requires courts to consider any family violence when making decisions about parenting and custody. The focus is how the violence affects the child’s safety and well-being, directly or indirectly.
Courts may look at, for example:
- Whether a child has seen or heard threats, yelling, or physical harm.
- Patterns of control, intimidation, isolation, or monitoring in the household.
- Any risks around child abduction, hiding the child, or not returning the child after visits.
- Whether one person follows existing court orders or peace bonds.
- How each person supports the child’s relationship with the other parent when it is safe to do so.
Courts usually avoid placing a child in a situation that could expose them to further harm. However, outcomes vary case by case, and no result can be promised.
3. Presenting Family Violence Concerns Safely
Bringing up family violence in a custody or parenting case can feel risky or overwhelming. It may help to focus on facts, patterns, and how the situation affects the child.
What Information Can Be Helpful
- Concrete events: Dates (or approximate dates), what happened, who was there, whether a child saw or heard anything.
- Patterns: Repeated behaviour such as monitoring phones, controlling money, blocking contact with friends or family, or damaging property.
- Impact on the child: Changes in sleep, behaviour, school attendance, anxiety, or physical complaints that seem linked to conflict or violence.
- Existing documents: Copies of any police reports, medical notes, school notes, or previous court orders, if you have them safely available.
- Messages or records: Texts, emails, call logs, or social media messages that show threats, intimidation, or refusal to follow court orders—if safe to keep.
Before collecting or storing documents, consider digital safety. If the other person checks your phone, email, or devices, it may be safer to store information somewhere they cannot access, or with a trusted person. For broader tips, see digital safety guidance from trusted Canadian resources.
How to Talk About Concerns in Court Forms or Hearings
In written materials and in court, it is often safer and clearer to:
- Use calm, neutral language rather than insults or emotional labels.
- Describe events in simple terms (who, what, when, where) rather than giving graphic detail.
- Connect each concern to child safety and well-being (for example, how an incident affected the child’s sleep or school).
- Explain any fear about future risk to the child or to yourself, and why.
Where available, duty counsel, legal clinics, or family court support workers may help you understand which court forms ask about family violence and what kind of information those forms usually request.
4. Keeping a Child-Safety Focus
Courts place strong weight on the child’s best interests. When you raise concerns, linking them clearly to the child’s needs can make your information easier to understand.
Examples of a Child-Safety Focus
- Explaining how yelling, threats, or property damage affect the child’s sense of safety in each home.
- Describing how the child reacts before or after visits (nightmares, bedwetting, clinginess, changes in school performance).
- Mentioning any past times the child was left alone, not picked up from school, or exposed to dangerous situations.
- Talking about how safe or unsafe you feel during exchanges and how that affects the child.
- Identifying any special needs (medical, developmental, cultural, language or religious needs) and whether each parent can safely meet them.
Where it is safe, a child’s views and preferences may also be considered, depending on their age and maturity and on local laws and practices. Often this is done through professionals such as social workers, lawyers for children, or assessors, rather than through a child speaking directly in court.
If anyone suggests involving a child directly in the conflict (for example, asking them to “take sides”), it can be helpful to redirect the focus to the child’s safety and emotional well-being.
5. Protective Orders Connected to Custody and Parenting
In some situations, courts may make orders to increase safety where there is family violence or a serious risk of it. Names and procedures differ by province and territory, and orders may be made in criminal, family, or other courts.
Types of Orders You Might Hear About
- Peace bonds or similar orders: Criminal-law based orders that may include conditions such as no contact or staying away from certain places.
- Protection or restraining-type orders: Civil or family-law orders that can limit contact, communication, or coming near a home, workplace, or school.
- Family-court conditions in parenting orders: Detailed rules around pick-up/drop-off locations, third-party exchanges, supervised visits, or communication through specific apps or methods.
These orders may:
- Restrict contact between adults, or between a child and an adult, in certain circumstances.
- Set safe exchange arrangements (for example, at a public place or a supervised exchange centre if available).
- Require supervised parenting time if there are safety concerns, sometimes with a relative or at a supervised access centre where such centres exist.
Each province and territory has its own legislation and processes for protection and restraining-type orders. Local legal aid offices, community legal clinics, and victim services can explain the options where you live, but cannot predict what a court will decide.
How Protective Orders and Parenting Orders Interact
Sometimes more than one order exists at the same time, for example a criminal no-contact order and a family parenting order. This can be confusing.
- Courts may adjust parenting arrangements to fit the safety conditions in other orders.
- If orders seem to conflict, legal advice from a qualified lawyer in your area can be important to understand what each order requires.
- Written orders usually describe any exceptions (for example, brief contact allowed for child exchanges in specific ways).
If you are worried that new parenting arrangements could make an existing protective order harder to follow, you can raise these concerns in family court documents or with duty counsel, emphasizing child safety and your own safety.
6. Support While Navigating Custody and Safety
It can be easier to talk about parenting and safety when you are not doing it alone. Depending on your area, you may be able to connect with:
- Family court support workers or victim services workers.
- Community legal clinics or legal aid offices, if you qualify.
- Settlement or newcomer agencies that understand immigration-related concerns.
- Local Indigenous, cultural, or community organizations that support families experiencing harm.
Some people also look at Canada-wide resource lists to find local services. One option that gathers support information from across the country is DV.Support, which can help you locate organizations that understand family violence and safety planning.
Support workers and legal professionals can give information and options, but decisions about what feels safest for you and your child remain your own. If you are in immediate physical danger, contacting emergency services in your area may be the fastest way to get help.